I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Randomize
