I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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