people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
