i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
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