Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I got inside last night via doggy door
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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