2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
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