He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Randomize
