i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
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