If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
