even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
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