Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
i wish my penis had a tongue
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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