I swear she didn't look like that last week.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
