On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
This toilet bowl is my home.
Randomize
