I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
