I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
My penis needs a shock collar
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
