Whoa Z and x make the same sound
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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