We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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