I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
