guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
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