It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
