I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
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