I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
My ATM looks so different sober.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Randomize
