if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
