Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
