belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
