worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Randomize
