he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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