Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I skipped work to stalk him.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
