It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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