im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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