i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
