something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
