with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
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