Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
