How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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