Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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