We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
