nut hugger
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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