Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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