i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
