i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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