I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I think I am morally bankrupt
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
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