Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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