She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
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