did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
