Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
