The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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