I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
