His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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