You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
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