I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
