You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
