where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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