it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
